Self-Coaching for Emotional Intelligence: A Roadmap to Better Understanding

Self-Coaching for Emotional Intelligence

Self-Coaching for Emotional Intelligence:  Emotional intelligence, or EQ, is a term first coined by researchers Peter Salavoy and John D. Mayer and later popularized by Daniel Goleman. It’s defined as the ability to understand, use, and manage our own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges and defuse conflict.

Alma Jansen, the founder of self-coaching platform, says, “Emotional Intelligence is the bridge that connects us to ourselves and to the world. It’s what makes us human, and what makes us humane.”

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is critical because it affects almost every area of our lives, including our relationships, our career, and our overall well-being. As Goleman noted in his groundbreaking book “Emotional Intelligence,” “Emotional intelligence counts more than IQ or raw brain power for success in life.”

According to Jansen, “EQ is the secret sauce that enhances our personal and professional lives. It helps us understand ourselves better, connect with others, make good decisions, and handle stress.”

Self-Coaching for Emotional Intelligence

Self-coaching is a powerful tool for enhancing Emotional Intelligence. Jansen emphasizes that “Self-coaching is not about changing who you are, but about understanding and harnessing your emotional capabilities.”

Roadmap to Enhance Emotional Intelligence through Self-Coaching

Developing emotional intelligence through self-coaching involves several key steps:

1. Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is the cornerstone of emotional intelligence. It’s about understanding your emotions, strengths, weaknesses, and the effect they have on others. As Jansen says, “Self-awareness is the first step in the journey of self-coaching. It’s about looking in the mirror and understanding what you see.”

2. Self-Regulation

Self-regulation is about managing your emotions in healthy ways, taking initiative, following through on commitments, and adapting to changing circumstances. Jansen explains, “Self-regulation is not about suppressing your emotions but understanding and channeling them constructively.”

3. Motivation

Motivation involves your drive to achieve, optimism even in the face of failure, and organizational commitment. Jansen asserts, “Motivation is the fuel that drives us forward on the path of personal and professional growth.”

4. Empathy

Empathy is about understanding the emotions, needs, and concerns of others. Jansen advises, “Empathy is the key to connecting with others on a deeper level. It’s about walking a mile in their shoes.”

5. Social Skills

Social skills involve your ability to interact effectively with others, build strong relationships, and navigate social networks. According to Jansen, “Social skills are the threads that weave the fabric of our social life.”

The Power of Emotional Intelligence through Self-Coaching

The journey of enhancing emotional intelligence through self-coaching is empowering. It leads to better understanding of oneself and others, improved relationships, and personal and professional success.

As Goleman states in his book “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” “People high in emotional intelligence are expected to progress more quickly through the abilities designated and to master more of them.”

Jansen concludes, “Through self-coaching, we can all harness the power of emotional intelligence to enrich our lives and contribute positively to the world around us.”

By enhancing our emotional intelligence through self-coaching, we not only boost our personal and professional lives, but also contribute to creating a more empathetic and understanding world.

Applying Emotional Intelligence Techniques in Daily Life

To transform the theoretical understanding of emotional intelligence into practice, we need to apply specific techniques and strategies. Here are some practical steps for fostering emotional intelligence using self-coaching.


Mindfulness practice can significantly enhance emotional self-awareness and self-regulation. By tuning into your emotional state in the present moment, you can better understand and manage your emotions. As Jansen explains, “Mindfulness teaches us to be present with our emotions, not controlled by them.”

Emotional Journaling

Keeping an emotional journal can be a valuable tool in increasing self-awareness. By recording your feelings and reactions to daily events, you gain insights into your emotional patterns. Jansen suggests, “Journaling creates a mirror for our emotions, allowing us to understand and manage them better.”

Empathetic Listening

By practicing empathetic listening, you can increase your empathy and improve your social skills. This involves listening with the intent to understand rather than just respond. Jansen explains, “Empathetic listening is about truly hearing others and validating their experiences.”

Self-Motivation Techniques

Motivation is an inside job. Setting personal goals, maintaining a positive outlook, and cultivating resilience in the face of adversity can enhance your intrinsic motivation. As Jansen states, “Motivation is the engine of our actions. With it, we can overcome even the most formidable obstacles.”

Seeking Feedback

Feedback from others can provide valuable insights into how your emotions and behaviors affect those around you. Jansen advises, “Feedback is the compass that guides our emotional growth. It helps us understand our blind spots and navigate towards better relationships.”

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence on Life

Improving emotional intelligence through self-coaching has a profound impact on all aspects of life. It can lead to better relationships, improved mental health, greater career success, and an overall increase in happiness and well-being.

Jansen summarizes, “Emotional Intelligence is not just a skill, it’s a lifestyle. By enhancing our EQ through self-coaching, we not only improve our lives, but also the lives of those around us.”

The Power of Self-Coaching in Boosting Emotional Intelligence

Self-coaching is an empowering tool in the quest for higher emotional intelligence. It allows us to understand and manage our emotions, motivate ourselves, empathize with others, and handle social situations more effectively.

As Dr. Travis Bradberry, the author of “Emotional Intelligence 2.0,” noted, “Emotional intelligence is your ability to recognize and understand emotions in yourself and others, and your ability to use this awareness to manage your behavior and relationships.”

Self-Coaching for Emotional Intelligence

In the words of Alma Jansen, “Self-coaching is the key to unlocking the power of Emotional Intelligence. It’s a journey of self-discovery, growth, and transformation that leads us to a more fulfilling and successful life.”

By taking control of our emotional intelligence through self-coaching, we can navigate life’s challenges with greater resilience, build stronger and more meaningful relationships, and ultimately, lead a more fulfilling and balanced life.